inbox:

don’t crack your fingers. cocaine your fingers

(Source: christineem)

swinubuh:

When i find myself in times of trouble
Greece comes on to me
speaking words of wisdom
alcohol is free

Teacher: I need one of you to take this to the office.

laugh-addict:

Me:

(Source: akceus)

Getting a good grade on something you didnt study for

lolzpicx:

(Source: i-just-love-football)

teenshota:

if there is one piece of writing that survives into 3209 i hope this is it

(Source: mariompreg)

Every time I get my period: Wow no okay that was not a month.

fuoco-go:

gendertier:

gendertier:

gendertier:

i jUST WALKED INTO MY MOMS ROOM AND THERE’S A DACHSHUND IN HERE

WE DON’T OWN A DACHSHUND???? 

????????

okay this dog is so sweet but where is my mom omfg

Your mom has been turned into a dachshund. It’s you’re responsibility to lift the curse.

Your adventure is beginning, my friend.

(Source: livreilustrado)

steamedcrab:

so i was watching the news and this 2nd grader wrote this to the president, vice president, and a congressman. biden was the only one to respond yet. LITERALLY.

(Source: slothwrestling)

positivelyindecent:

stonzie:

Okay, legit fucking crying.

You bet your elderly testicles I did.

(Source: whendogmetdolphin)

someone: what are your plans for the weekend
me: who knows
me: (i know)
me: (i'm not leaving the house)

sketchavolie:

vanehwasreal:

lady-polgara:

When a bullet hits a wall

That is astounding. I legitimately watched it about fifteen times before reblogging it.

this is so fucking satisfying to watch oh my god

Does anyone else hear it crash into the wall?